At a very tender age and filled with hopes of conquering her social world, life handed Nyanaleth Majok Nyok what she never bargained for, dreamed for, or imagined.
Nyok lost her fiancé, the love of her life, who hailed from Duk County in Jonglei State. As a consequence of being resigned to fate, she asked for a ‘ghost marriage’ to unite with her late boyfriend one month after his death, assuming the status of being a widow.
Mayen Deng Lueth, a young, energetic wrestler, was shot dead for unclear reasons by an unidentified assailant in Duk on March 11.
As a result, Nyok told Mayen’s parents that they had quite a faithful relationship with their late boyfriend, and as a result, she had to come home to the late parents in honour of their relationship.
When contacted by The City Review, Ms. Nyok revealed that she and the deceased had made vows that could not be broken.
“We had made a promise to marry each other. He (Mayen) had promised to marry me after returning from the fishing site. So, now that he died without return, I had to go to their house, “she explained.
“His spirit still lives with me and this is why I came to his family,” Ms. Nyok added in an exclusive with The City Review.
According to the young lady, her family is in consensus about the decision she made.
Nyok disclosed that she promised to stay in the late boyfriend’s house forever.
“My family like my father and my elder sister, have backed up my decision. If someone tries to discourage me, I will remind them of my late boyfriend’s legacy. He was well-mannered, and this is why I came to his family, I will stay with his family, “she reiterated.
Family take
Mayen’s best friend, who used to move with the late, admits that the young lady’s visit to the late boyfriend’s house consoled the entire family, who had lost all hope after their son died.
“We are happy. When we lost Mayen, we were sad. But God knows how he can replace the person who died. Two days after his death, a lady came home. “Her coming comforted us, now we feel as if Mayen has come back to life,” he narrated.
Mr. Garang said his friend’s death was terrible since he was not married and was the firstborn in the family.
“His death was really sad because he was not married. Most of the ladies don’t accept someone who has died, but this lady did it,” he applauded.
“She has comforted us and all the parents are happy. Mayen was my best friend; we had been together since we were young. It is only death which has separated us,” Garang said.
Michael Deng Lueth, said he was demoralised by the late son’s death given that he was a breadwinner in the house.
“This lady who has reported to me as Mayen’s wife, is a great comfort to me. I have been down since the day my son was killed, but now I can move up myself after she came to the house,” he told The City Review on Friday by phone.
“Now, if I hear that Mayen wife has brought the water for me, I feel comforted,” he added.
Mayen’s father reiterated that he was overwhelmingly saddened by the death of his son since he was at the level where he was serving the nation as he was a local wrestler who had a lot of fans.
“Mayen was no longer my son; he was at a level where he was serving the entire nation of South Sudan. I felt saddened, but I have been receiving words of comfort from South Sudanese,” he said
“Even the family of the girl comforted me, they told us that they would listen to whatever we would tell them. But we said that the marriage will be conducted,” Deng said.
According to Mayen’s father, the marriage ceremony for the young girl is set to be conducted on April 20, 2022.
“I set the date to April 20, so that if there is someone happy because of the coming of Mayen’s wife, he can help me with the little he has, to use for paying bride price so that her family will give her to us wholeheartedly,” he said.
It is believed that any woman who comes to the house of her late boyfriend or husband is inherited by a close member of the family if she chooses to stay with her.
But some women have continued to challenge such cultural practices, saying that such relationships are not concretely built as required since the two parties are brought together by the prevailing circumstance without option.
Cultural facet
In the past, most Dinka families have continued to practise ghost marriages for the late deceased, especially if a male family member happens to die at a young age especially before he gets married.
On the same note, some of the families could sit down and choose a family colleague to marry their late relative’s wife.
It is believed that Mayen’s wife would be given to one of his brothers to bear children with her, and the children would be named after the late Mayen as an original husband. But the young lady will remain Mayen wife, although Mayen is dead.
Cultural take
When contacted for comment, Ustaz Maker Thiong Maal, a prominent elder from Bor, who was a former governor of Jonglei state, said it was hard to get rid of the culture now since everything is associated with a given civilization.
“You see, that thing (cultural practice) actually, for now [you] can’t be get rid of it because anything is associated with the civilization of the people. That’s it,” Ustaz Maker said.
“Our people are still run by the rural community. Seventy-five percent of our people still live in rural areas. And people in the rural community have got their different ways of life,” he added.
Maker believes that as time passes, people will gradually abandon such practices.
“This thing is going to go away slowly when people develop, but now you cannot reject it, you will be seen as making a baboo in the community,” he said.
“Dowry is an English word, and so it means there was such activity like that, that existed 300 years ago, but it is not there now. So, it is not easy to change that culture now,” Maker said.
Lawmaker Maker said anything to do with the family was quite related to the way things were done in the past.
He said such practises were considered social components of those particular communities, though he believes they would be altered by the current generation.